We Are Done
Finding Our Way Back To Love When We Are Full of Rage
I work with women. I specialize in helping women find themselves again and heal the old wounds so they can show up now in the exact way they choose to. Not driven by old roles, old stories or old beliefs.
I work with women…and right now they all have something in common.
I work with women…and I am definitely seeing a pattern.
I work with women…and something is rumbling.
I work with women…and… they are enraged.
Yes, they are deeply saddened, confused, bewildered and more….but the main emotion they have in common right now, in this time…is rage.
When I am in discussion about it I say “women are done.” Because, honestly, that’s how it feels right now in private sessions.
They are done.
Done with what you ask?
Done with not being believed.
Done with not being trusted to lead.
Done with not having our intuition honored and revered.
Done having our emotional intelligence feared so much, the very value of it is diminished.
Done being relied on to manage everything, only to be told they can’t manage anything.
Done teaching their partners how to communicate and how to love them well.
Done having their bodies governed by men who know nothing of the female anatomy.
Done over functioning, over doing, and over giving in their relationships.
Does that about cover it?
We are done being disappointed by the systems that are designed to enlist our labor, while diminishing our wisdom.
We are all here together….and collectively we are done.
Now what?
We are IN the new space. This new space where we feel done.
You all know I like to offer hope. A seed. Something for you to take away from my writing that makes you feel more empowered in the world. More empowered in your life.
In all honesty, I don’t have a whole lot to share right now. What I have is currently growing inside of me. In my last post, I shared that I am quite used to learning at the same time as doing.
So today, I am offering the seed I am currently watering.
A quote came across my desk that I know I have seen a million times and this time it hit different.
“The way you choose to see the world will create the world you begin to see.” Written by Barry Neil Kaufman an author associated with his work on happiness and personal empowerment.
It’s happening. And while I will not shrink or pretend that the facts aren’t the facts….if I begin to see the world from a negative lens, I can’t help anyone. I despise toxic positivity and…..a foundation of seeing humans from a positive lens instead of a negative one empowers me to create the change I’m hoping to see. It empowers me to speak on the rich history of women and what we can do collectively.
I can’t lead women by hating men.
I can’t lead women through hate at all.
Love leads. Every single time.
This doesn’t mean I will be using the language of “not all men” as that diminishes and dismisses the very real issues we are facing. It reduces the responsibility of all men to stop contributing and receiving from a system that oppresses women.
As a partner to a man and a mom to a young man, it is my job to not protect them from this. It is my job to help them see this….not with extra padding, a buffer or a super nice voice that ensures they will listen.
But with facts, experience, and the very real impact that those systems have had and will continue to have on women if we don’t stand up.
It’s my job to remember that while I can’t get anywhere leading through rage, I can use that powerful emotion to understand my own experience and find my way back to love.
Rage is a psychologically healthy response to our own experiences as women and what we are seeing in the world currently. And if we don’t know how to use rage to empower us to love, we will stay in a loop of viewing the world through it’s lens.
That helps nobody. Not even us.
What a matriarchy offers that a patriarchy could never is the emotional intelligence to lead through love and the knowledge to know it doesn’t diminish us. It empowers us.
